Sunday, March 30, 2008

LA Police Gear Has The Best Police Gear!

My friend who must be a frustrated cop or soldier is into collecting police gear. He makes sure he got the best quality police gear you can think of. The recent addition to his collection is one of those Blackhawk holsters at LA Police Gear, a website where all kinds of quality police gear can be found. You may think it only caters to those in the military and police organizations. Absolutely not! It is for everyone who is interested to own quality police gear but in a much lower cost. If you are into it, then you just found the perfect police gear website – the LA Police Gear, where you enjoy excellent customer service, fast delivery, and special deals!

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Man vs. woman: how to shower...

Why, why. why! Why do we always compare men and women in everything when we know for a fact that women are always superior over men, right girls? Anyway, after i posted those sexy photos of men here, husband got back and wanted to get even with me so he sent me something about how men and women take shower. Note the BIG difference!

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs.
Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mold spots with Tilex.
Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
Pee.
Rinse off and get out of shower.
Partially dry off.
Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
Admire wiener size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
Throw wet towel on bed.
If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this,
there is something SO very wrong with you.
Have a great day! Oh, and....woo woo!!!

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Free Yourself From The Burdens Of Debt!

The last thing most Americans want to get into is having a bad credit which is usually due to excessive use of any Credit card. Bad credit would costs more than you think - it costs you more than just getting loan applications denied. So if you are in this situation, you got to do something about it! If you don't know how, don't despair because there is definitely help somewhere like the services that ConsumerCreditDebt.org is providing to those in similar situations. Get their help with credit repair and enjoy financial freedom. Aside from credit repair, they can also help you out with other things that concern Consumer credit debt such as Credit card debt, tax debt, Credit debt, and the like. Get in touch with them now for a free debt analysis. Free yourself from the burdens of debt with the help of ConsumerCreditDebt.org. After all, there is life after debt!

Cancel your credit card before you die!

My friend Babes sent me this joke! This is hilarious but is this really possible?

Now some people are really stupid!!!!

Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die. This is so priceless, and so, so easy to see happening, customer service being what it is today.

A lady died this past January, and Citibank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00, now somewhere around $60.00. A family member placed a call to Citibank. Here is the exchange:

Family Member: "I am calling to tell you she died in January."
Citibank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges Still Apply."
Family Member: "Maybe, you should turn it over to collections."
Citibank: "Since it is two months past due, it already has been."
Family Member: So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?"
Citibank: "Either report her account to frauds division or report her to The credit bureau, maybe both!"
Family Member: "Do you think God will be mad at her?" (I really liked this Part!!!!)
Citibank: "Excuse me?"
Family Member: "Did you just get what I was telling you - the part About her being dead?"
Citibank: "Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor." (Duh!)

Supervisor gets on the phone:

Family Member: "I'm calling to tell you, she died in January."
Citibank : "The account was never closed and late fees and charges still Apply." (This must be a phrase taught by the bank!)
Family Member: "You mean you want to collect from her estate?"
Citibank: (Stammer) "Are you her lawyer?"
Family Member: "No, I'm her great nephew." (Lawyer info given)
Citibank: "Could you fax us a certificate of death?"
Family Member: "Sure." (Fax number is given ) After they get the fax:
Citibank: "Our system just isn't setup for death. I don't know What more I can do to help."
Family Member: "Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could Just keep billing her. I don't think she will care."
Citibank: "Well, the late fees and charges do still apply."(What is wrong With these people?!?)
Family Member: "Would you like her new billing address?"
Citibank: "That might help."
Family Member: " Odessa Memorial Cemetery , Highway 129, Plot Number 69."
Citibank: "Sir, that's a cemetery!"
Family Member: "What do you do with dead people on your planet???