Saturday, November 24, 2007

Heard about these new tagalog quotes?

I wanna thank my friend Jane who keeps me updated with jokes and funny emails. This one is a list of some new "salawikain" but i wanna apologize to my non-tagalog readers because these are mostly in tagalog. To my tagalog readers, hope i made your day! Here you go:

Ang buhay ay parang bato, it's hard.
Behind the clouds are the other clouds.
Do unto others ... then run!!!
Kapag puno na ang salop, kumuha na ng ibang salop.
Magbiro ka na sa lasing, magbiro ka na sa bagong gising, huwag lang sa lasing na bagong gising. When all else fails, follow instructions.
Ang hindi marunong magmahal sa sariling wika, lumaki sa ibang bansa.
To err is human, to errs is humans.
Ang taong nagigipit ... sa bumbay kumakapit
Pag may usok ... may nag-iihaw
Kapag may sinuksok at walang madukot, may nandukot.
Walang matigas na tinapay sa gutom na tao.
Kapag may tiyaga, may nilaga. Kapag may taga, may tahi.
Huli man daw at magaling, undertime pa rin.
Ang naglalakad ng matulin, late na sa appointment
Matalino man ang matsing, matsing pa rin.
Aanhin ang palasyo kung ang nakatira ay kuwago, mabuti pa ang bahay kubo, sa paligid puno ng linga.
Kapag maikli ang kumot, tumangkad ka na!
Hindi lahat ng kumikinang ay ginto ... muta lang yan.
Kapag ang puno mabunga ... mataba ang lupa!
When it rains ... it floods.
Pagkahaba haba man ng prusisyon ... mauubusan din ng kandila.
Try and try until you succeed... or else try another.
Kapag maiksi na ang kumot, bumili ka na ng bago.
If you can"t beat them, shoot them. (Nalundasan)
An apple a day is too expensive.
Aanhin pa ang damo kung ang garden mo"y sementado
Aanhin pa ang damo kung bato na ang uso

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Awards from Jolens!

One of my frequent visitors to my blogs is the beautiful Jolens! She makes me laugh and i love her sense of humor. Here are the awards she gave me and i truly appreciate it kahit bola, lol! Nobody believes i am a sexy blogger, lol! How can an oldie blogger like me be as sexy and beautiful as Jolens could be? But anyway, i wanna share these awards to sexy bloggers Roselle, Au, Mel, Sarah, Recel, Dauphine, Bless, Kero, Marie, Darlene and In-in! I also would like to give these back to Jolens, who else?

Sunday, November 11, 2007

This is kewl....

I had fun with this, lol! Would you believe i have male celebrity look alikes too? I guess even photos of the ugliest creature would show a celebrity look alike. From my celebrity look-alike, i chose one to morph with and it's really cool! Try yours too!

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Sports Online Betting Guide

There are lots of scams online so it is very risky to invest something like money if we are not sure of the site. Betting involves money so make sure when you bet, use the betting facility of legit sites like ScommesseOnline, a great source for online sports betting. It has a huge list of highly recommended European bookmakers with a review of each. Go over the list, pick which one interests you, register for an account and make sure to get the bonus when you sign up. Where can you find such a good service that ScommesseOnline members are enjoying? Through your bonus, it's like you already won even before you started betting. If you are one of those who monitor soccer scores and don't want to miss it, ScommesseOnline is the place for you!

Sunday, November 4, 2007

I can relate.....

This one is really funny! As a woman, i can relate to this very well! I guess all women have been in this situation one way or another. Have you experienced when you are in a public place and you need to go to the toilet? I have been on these many times like i was on a mall and i need to go, there is a long line but i have to wait, and when your inside, you find out there is no toilet paper, lol! Moral of the story: always keep tissue paper or toilet paper or any napkin handy wherever you go in case of emergency. Read this story that i got in my mail today....
Warning! This is a long story but worth reading if you want some something for laughs!

When you have to visit a public bathroom, you usually find a line of women, so you smile politely and take your place. Once it's your turn, you check for feet under the stall doors. Every stall is occupied. Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall. You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter, the wait has been so long you are about to wet your pants! The dispenser for the modern "seat covers" (invented by someone's Mom, no doubt) is handy, but empty.

You would hang your purse on the door hook, if there was one, but there isn't - so you carefully, but quickly drape it around your neck, (Mom would turn over in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR!), yank down your pants, and assume " The Stance."

In this position your aging, toneless thigh muscles begin to shake. You'd love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold "The Stance." To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you can hear your mother's voice saying, "Honey, if you had tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!" Your thighs shake more.

You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday - the one that's still in your purse. (Oh yeah, the purse around your neck, that now, you have to hold up trying not to strangle yourself at the same time). That would have to do. You crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It's still smaller than your thumbnail .

Someone pushes your door open because the latch doesn't work. The door hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest, and you and your purse topple backward against the tank of the toilet."Occupied!" you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, lose your footing altogether, and slide down directly onto the TOILET SEAT.

It is wet of course. You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late.Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper - not that there was any, even if you had taken time to try. You know that your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because, you're certain her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly, dear, "You just don't KNOW what kind of diseases you could get."

By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a fire hose against the inside of the bowl that sprays a fine mist of water that covers your butt and runs down your legs and into your shoes. The flush somehow sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too.

At this point, you give up. You're soaked by the spewing water and the wet toilet seat. You're exhausted. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your pocket and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks. You can't figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past the line of women still waiting.

You are no longer able to smile politely to them. A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe. (Where was that when you NEEDED it??) You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it in the woman's hand and tell her warmly, "Here, you just might need this."

As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used, and left the men's restroom. Annoyed, he asks, "What took you so long, and why is your purse hanging around your neck?"

This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with a public restrooms (rest??? you've GOT to be kidding!!). It finally explains to the men what really does take us so long. It also answers their other commonly asked questions about why women go to the restroom in pairs. It's so the other gal can hold the door, hang onto your purse and hand you Kleenex under the door! This HAD to be written by a woman! No one else could describe it so accurately!

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