Thursday, May 29, 2008

Summer Classes for Men

When women get together, guess what they usually talk about? Men, of course!They talk about sons, boys, boyfriends, husbands, men, men and men, LOL! One of my friends at work said that "men are all the same, they never grow up!" You think so? Remember, all the problems of women start with men - menstruation, menopause. mental distress, to name a few, LOL! Well, no matter what, i think men are blessings from God so we just got to love them. If you are married, why not send your husband to attend summer classes at the Adult Learning Center? Imagine what would your life be if he learns or get trained there? Check it out!

by Friday, June 29, 2008

Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.
Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks..
Class 5
Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
at 7:00 PM
Class 6
Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM
Class 7
Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.
Class 8
Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined
Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday ' s noon, 2 hours.
Class 11
Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined
Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You ' re Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 14
The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Just playin' around, LOL!

Ok, here's another one for laughs! I got nothing to do today, actually i have so many things to do, i just don't wanna do it, hehe! I did not check my paid blogging sites because i am not in the mood to write anything and i don't wanna see anything for grabs there. How about this?

Joke for the day...

I got this joke courtesy of one of my yahoo groups. This is just for fun and no offense meant. Just thought to brighten your day. Have a wonderful weekend!
Chinese Detective

A man suspected his wife of seeing another man. So, he hired a famous chinese detective, Mr. Sui Tansow Pok, to watch and report any activities that might develop. A few days later, he recieved this report:
Most honorable sir:
You leave house. He come house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. He and she get on train. I follow. He and she go in hotel. I climb tree-look in window. He kiss she. She kiss he. He strip she. She strip he. He play with she. She play with he. I play with me. Fall out of tree, not see.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Don't Miss Death Note on Theaters

If you are familiar with Death Note, a very popular supernatural action-mystery manga, I’m sure you would be thrilled to know that it will be shown on select theaters nationwide on May 20 and 21st at 7:30PM. Take note that it will be shown only for two days so if you don’t want to miss it, I strongly suggest you buy your tickets early. Just enter your zip code HERE to find the theater nearest you.

DeathNote is about the a young bright student named Light Yagami who got hold of the Death Note, a notebook that contains names of humans who are bound to die. Light vows to clean the world of evil by the power of the Death Note. When bad people started dying, investigations were made and that brought investigator “L” and Light involved into action scenes trying to prove to the world who is good and who is evil. Just watch the movie to find out what happens next. In Death Note, I admire the super natural character of Yagami because he is young but only wants the best for the world and he vows to get it, at whatever cost. Watch it, I’m sure you will love it!

Sunday, May 11, 2008

I Love Maxine!

Are you a Martha or a Maxine? If you ask me, I could say without second thoughts that I am a big Maxine, LOL! Now, check how each does things and tell me if you are a Martha or a Maxine or maybe a combination of both. Who knows, you might have something not found in both of them. Here it goes:
The Martha Way

Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.

To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.

If you accidentally oversalt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant 'fix-me-up.'

Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.

Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.

Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.

Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.
The Maxine Way

Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake! You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it, anyway!

Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix , keep it in the pantry for up to a year.

Go to the bakery! They'll even decorate it for you.

If you oversalt a dish while you are cooking, that's too bad. Please recite with me the real woman's motto: 'I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes!'

Celery? Never heard of it!

The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust so I don't.
Cure for headaches: Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink!

If you have a problem opening jars, go ask that very cute neighbor if he can open it for you.

Leftover wine??????????? HEEELLLLOOOO !!!!!!!

As usual, if you don't forward this to 1 of your friends within the next 5 minutes, your belly button will unscrew and your butt will fall off. Really... it's true! Have I ever lied to you?

Don't you just love her? I do!

A Mothers' Day Tag from Jolens

My dear friend Jolens gave me this tag to share to all mothers in the world. Thanks a lot Jolens! Part of this tag is to share my favorite quotes about mothers. Actually i got a bunch of them but since she only asked for three so i would share with you just three of those that really hit me. But first, here is the rule for this tag.

Share your favorite Mother's Day quotes and place your blog/name right after the piece of artwork.

Irresistible Fascinations / Naomi
2. Manna from Heaven / Lena
3. And Life Goes On / Lena
4. Sheng's Simple Thoughts... / SHENG
5. Pinay WAHM / Juliana
Teacher's Corner / Juliana
Tikya sa Tate' / Tess
MyOnlineBiz / Tess
Gags, Chuckles and Giggles / Tess

Myspace Comments - Mothers Day

Here are just three of my favorite quotes:

"A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity, it dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path."-- Agatha Christie

"The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness."-- Honore' de Balzac

"A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials, heavy and sudden, fall upon us when adversity takes the place of prosperity when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine, desert us when troubles thicken around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts."--Washington Irving

Now, i am tagging all the mothers in my list because we are all mothers and we should be proud of it! Share our love to the world! Thanks to you all!

Saturday, May 10, 2008

A Sure Winning Movie To The Nightmare Awards

If you are a movie addict like me, am sure you have seen movies that after you watch it, you would think watching that movie was a waste of time. I got a bunch of that kind. For instance, instead of watching a supposed-to-be horror film, you ended up like watching a comedy film instead, if you know what I mean. I guess this happens sometimes especially with horror films because obviously something is missing and maybe because there were deleted scenes that are really important to the movie but couldn’t be shown because these scenes were rated as too much for the viewers’ eyes to see. The result? The movie suffers in quality and depth.

This is the reason why this great horror film Frontier(s) that is shown starting may 9th in select theaters in the USA should be seen by horror fans as uncut. What you see is what you get! Now, check out the list of theaters where this movie will be shown and don’t miss the chance to see Frontier(s) if you can. Remember, this uncut, unrated version of the movie will be shown in a limited number of theaters only for a week. Unluckily for me, the closest theater listed there is in New York City which is a 9-hour drive from where I’m at, lol! But I can wait for the DVD release of this Horror Movie on May 13th so I have nothing to worry about. In fact, this will be a perfect gift for my nephew who is a big fan of horror flicks himself since I have been thinking about what to give him on his 16th birthday next week. I’m sure he would love this! To give you a taste of the Horror Movie that deserves the highest recognition in The Nightmare Awards, watch the trailer and you will understand why.

Saturday and movies....

It's Saturday and that means we have to go pick up movies for tonight. As of this moment, i still have no idea which movies to get. I have taken some of the suggestions from friends and that will do for tonight. Last Saturday, instead of having pizza and wings, we ordered Chinese food for a change and that was really great! You know i can eat and eat, LOL! I miss eating rice and i am a big ricer eater. Even hubby who never eats rice before especialy white steamed rice, can now eat it especially fried rice. He doesn't understand what viand means, LOL! He thinks that i can eat white rice by itself, that is why there should be a viand, right? Oh well, happy Saturday everyone! I got to get ready, will come back later.

Way to go Bill!

This is Bill Cosby, a person i so respect and love! I once saw his show here in Buffalo two years ago on Thanskgiving Day. As usual, he talks with a lot of sense but full of humor. You got to listen to him and I know you can relate to a lot of what he is saying. He is a family man, a man with dignity and honor and a pride to America! Way to go Bill! Here are some of his thoughts i thought i wanna share with you guys!

"They're standing on the corner and they can't speak English. I can't even talk the way these people talk: Why you ain't, Where you is, What he drive, Where he stay, Where he work, Who you be... And I blamed the kid until I heard the mother talk. And then I heard the father talk. Everybody knows it's important to speak English except these knuckleheads. You can't be a doctor with that kind of crap coming out of your mouth. In fact you will never get any kind of job making a decent living. People marched and were hit in the face with rocks to get an education, and now we've got these knuckleheads walking around. The lower economic people are not holding up their end in this deal. These people are not parenting. They are buying things for kids. $500 sneakers for what?? And they won't spend $200 for Hooked on Phonics.

I am talking about these people who cry when their son is standing there in an orange suit. Where were you when he was 2?? Where were you when he was 12?? Where were you when he was 18 and how come you didn't know that he had a pistol?? And where is the father?? Or who is his father? People putting their clothes on backward: Isn't that a sign of something gone wrong? People with their hats on backward, pants down around the crack, isn't that a sign of something? Or are you waiting for Jesus to pull his pants up? Isn't it a sign of something when she has her dress all the way up and got all type of needles [piercing] going through her body? What part of Africa did this come from?? We are not Africans. Those people are not Africans; they don't know a thing about Africa . With names like Shaniqua, Taliqua and Mohammed and all of that crap, and all of them are in jail.

Brown or black versus the Board of Education is no longer the white person's problem. We have got to take the neighborhood back. People used to be ashamed. Today a woman has eight children with eight different 'husbands' -- or men or whatever you call them now. We have millionaire football players who cannot read. We have million-dollar basketball players who can't write two paragraphs. We, as black folks have to do a better job. Someone working at Wal-Mart with seven kids, you are hurting us. We have to start holding each other to a higher standard. We cannot blame the white people any longer." It's NOT about color... It's about behavior!!!

Dr. William Henry "Bill" Cosby, Jr., Ed.D.

Don't Miss Frontier(s), The Movie To Watch!

My husband and I are both movie addicts and we practically watch a movie or two every night. It is not surprising that we are now running out of movies to watch. We watch various types of movies from drama to action, suspense and of course horror movies. Horror movies keep me awake throughout the movie which seldom happens when I watch those boring, cheap and low quality films. I was searching for a good movie that hubby and I, together with our friends could hopefully watch tonight in the theater. I saw this Trailer of Frontier(s) movie and all I can say is “Oh my God!” I called my husband to watch the Trailer too and he thought it sounds so interesting and said that we got to watch it!

Unfortunately, when I checked the theaters where it will be shown, I found out it won’t be shown here in our place. That’s so unfair, isn’t it? Well, I just read that the reason it will only be shown in select theaters and only for a week is because they couldn’t show it in more theaters until they cut it down to get an R rating which means defeating the purpose of the movie – to show how horror films are supposed to be seen in all its violence and gory. Obviously, they decided to remain its uncut and unrated version but limiting the chance to show it in a wider theatrical audience.

So, if you don’t want to miss the uncut, unrated version of Frontier(s), it’s gonna be in select theaters starting May 9, 2008 and only for One Week! If you don’t get to watch it in the theaters, you can get the Frontier(s) DVD on May 13th. We don’t have a choice but wait for the DVD release. Horror movie fans out there, if you are looking for a truly harrowing movie experience, then Frontier(s) is the movie to watch so don’t miss it!