Friday, May 27, 2011

How to start a fight ....

My husband was giggling while reading his emails today and i wondered why. Well, this was what made him laugh and I admit, i find these jokes hilarious. Most of the time, i find my husband's jokes as corny but in fairness, this set was a big hit. Sometimes, just one simple word could start a fight especially between couples. So, if you want to piss your spouse or partner off, you can use some of these.

One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift...
The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked me why, I replied,
"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
And that's how the fight started.....

My wife and I were watching Who Wants to Be a Millionaire while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?'
'No,' she answered. I then said,
'Is that your final answer?'
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..'
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And that's when the fight started...

I took my wife to a restaurant.
The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
"I'll have the rump steak, rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
"Nah, she can order for herself."

And that's when the fight started.....

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school
reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
I asked her, "Do you know him?"
"Yes", she sighed,
"He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking
right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he
hasn't been sober since."
"My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?"
And then the fight started...

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer.. Always something more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall
grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing
scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, "What's on TV?"
I said, "Dust."
And then the fight started...

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my
lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the
boat up to the van and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back; now with a different
anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."
My loving wife of 5 years replied, "And, can you believe my
stupid husband is out fishing in that?"
And that's how the fight started...

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds."
I bought her a bathroom scale.
And then the fight started......

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply
for Social Security.

The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's License to verify my age.
I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at
home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability too.'

And then the fight started...

My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She was not happy with what she saw and said to me,
"I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you
to pay me a compliment.'
I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."
And then the fight started........

I rear-ended a car this morning...the start of a REALLY bad day!
The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!!
He looked up at me and said 'I am NOT Happy!'
So I said, 'Well, which one ARE you then?'
That's how the fight started.

Friday, May 20, 2011

Treat Yourself Like A King!

When it comes to providing comfort, elegance and style, nothing can beat what a Chaise Lounge Chair has to offer. Its popularly could be traced back to the times of the kings and queens and has successfully remained true to its purpose up to this day. Inspired by this idea of providing total comfort to kings and queens, it has evolved into high quality Modern Chairs that have become a top choice among many who consider quality and comfort as foremost in the selection of this patio furniture. Someday, my husband and I would be relaxing in these Modern Chairs right beside the pool. If you are for quality and comfort, you might consider getting one!

Sunday, May 15, 2011

End of the World?

Buzz is going around that May 21st, 2011 marks the end of the world. Do you believe this? Personally, i don't! I have heard this "end of the world" thing many times in the past and we're still here. I am not affected at all. For me, only God has the power to end this world and no one can predict what's gonna happen next. I think we should look at issues like this in a positive note by giving more value to our life and our relationships with our families and friends and even with our enemies. Let's treat each day like the last day of our life. Life is short and we should make the most out of it. I know and i admit, it's easier said than done but at least we try.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Celebrating Cinco de Mayo With Total Fun

Celebrating Cinco de Mayo is always a welcome treat for everyone. It won’t be complete without the presence of food, fun and festivities. One of the common activities is the smashing of Piñata, a fun activity for everyone from all walks of life, to enjoy. To kick off the Cinco celebration, Pepto Bismol, in cooperation with ABC's hit comedy Cougar Town actress Busy Phillips launched Pepto-Bismol’s Cinco de Mayo Piñata Campaign showcasing Phillips favorite way to smash pinatas.

Anybody who is interested can participate in this campaign right from the comforts of their homes or anywhere there is access to the internet. This way, everyone can enjoy celebrating Cinco de Mayo from wherever they are. You can watch the various ways of smashing piñatas in video or you can create your own. You get to pick what type of piñata you want to smash and the kind of filling in it. Phillips wants to make sure everyone will have total fun in the coming months. You can partake in the feast of your favorite Mexican food, drinks and colorful festivities.

In times like these, we tend to over fiesta and Pepto Bismol fully recognized that that’s why it makes sure it got you covered. I grow up with Pepto-Bismol. My parents always made sure we have it handy wherever we go especially during fiestas. Trust me, with Pepto Bismol, nothing can stop us from having fun during fiestas like Cinco de Mayo celebrations. Check out Pepto-Bismol’s New “Smashing” Cinco de Mayo Piñata Campaign. Feel free to join the fun or just sit back and relax while watching the videos.

Actress Busy Philipps Celebrates Pepto-Bismol’s New “Smashing” Cinco de Mayo Piñata Campaign

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Mother's Day

Mother's Day is few days away and everyone is greeting their mothers a Happy Mother's Day this early. I guess not all nations celebrate Mother's Day on May 8th but we can make everyday a Mother's Day because mothers are so special that they deserve that anyway. Mothers are the most wonderful people in everyone's life. That's how i see my mother. Words are not enough to thank her and to show her how much I love her. Happy Mother's day to you nanay and i love you so much! To all mothers in the world, this poem is for you!