Saturday, May 30, 2009

Things to think about.....

I haven't had time to even open my emails for the past two days. I was kinda busy with everything. I know i got my inbox full already and i have to get some of these off my list. Well, here is one of them I wanna share with you that husband sent me. There are some things to think about, some are funny though. Enjoy reading and enjoy the rest of the week.

1. There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and Shithead's.

2. The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol content..

3. I live in my own little world but it's OK, everyone knows me here.

4. I saw a rather large woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, "Thyroid problem?"

5. A sign In a Chinese Pet Store: "Buy one dog, get one flea."

6. Money can't buy happiness but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

7. I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.

8. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the "terminal"?

9. I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected.
10. The most precious thing we have is life, yet it has absolutely no trade-in value.

11. If life deals you lemons, make lemonade. If life deals you tomatoes, make Bloody Marys.

12. I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

13. Shopping tip: You can get shoes for a buck at bowling alleys.

14. I am a nobody; nobody is perfect, and therefore I am perfect.

15. Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.

16. No one ever says, "It's only a game!" when their team is winning.

17. Ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes and lottery
tickets, are always complaining about being broke and not feeling well?

18. How long a minute is, depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.

19. Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?

20. Marriage changes passion... suddenly you're in bed with a relative.

21. Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?

22 Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.

23. Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words:
Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been.

Monday, May 25, 2009

Husband and wife ......

Wife: Honey..... What are You Looking for?
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : Nothing...?? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour ??
Husband : I was just looking for the expiration date.

Q - What is the Difference Between Mother & Wife ?
A - One Woman Brings you into this world crying... & the other ensures you continue to do so.
Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.

Wife: You always carry my photo in your briefcase to the office. Why?
Husband: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Husband: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?"

Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.
Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or troubles.
Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet.

Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mom, I was sitting on daddy's lap.

A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?"
Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE"

Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?"
Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."
Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you married her?"
Millionaire: " A Billionaire"

Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever. The guy replies: Thanks for the warning .

A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me my pretty face or my sexy body?"He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of humor."

The importance of walking....

I am one person who wants to lose weight or at least tone my muscles and badly need exercise but doesn't have the will to do it. I guess I am not really decided yet because i believe that losing weight is a major decision in life. It is something that once you decide to do it, that means you are ready and do yoru best to make it work. Walking is one great exercise but who wants to go out of the house in this freezing weather anyway? Well, i wanna share with you the importance of walking which i got in my email today. This is pretty hilarious!

Walking can add minutes to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $7000 per month.

My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60..Now he's 97 years old and we don't know where he is.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

The only reason I would take up walking is so that I could hear heavy breathing again .

I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I'm doing..

I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks, haven't lost a pound, apparently you have to go there.

Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise', I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

I do have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

The advantage of exercising every day is so when you die, they'll say, 'Well, she looks good doesn't she.'

If you are going to try cross-country skiing, Start with a small country.

I know I got a lot of exercise the last few years,......Just getting over the hill.

We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more information in our heads. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

AND Every time I start thinking too much About how I look, I just find a Happy Hour And by the time I leave, I look just fine.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Are you thinking what i 'm thinking?

Sometimes we tend to think ahead without listening or reading the whole story first. This joke I am gonna share with you is a good example. While reading it, i started to create my own conclusion of the whole story but wait till you read it. But anyway, it just shows that people tend to judge other people without knowing what really happened or knowing the people involved first. You think this story is a serious one? Nope! This is a story of two nuns. Read on....

One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM), and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL) .

It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.

SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.

SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us.

SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most! What can we do?

SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.

SM: It's not working.

SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.

SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.

SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.

So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.

Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried about what has happened to Sister Logical.

Then Sister Logical arrives.

SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here!
Tell me what happened!

SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?

SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.

SM: And?

SL : The only logical thing happened. He reached me.

SM : Oh, dear! What did you do?

SL : The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.

SM : Oh, Sister! What did the man do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.

SM: Oh, no! What happened then?

SL : Isn't it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run faster than a man with his pants down.

And for those of you who thought it would be dirty, Say two Hail Marys!

Tuesday, May 12, 2009 Where customer service sucks big time!

I have always been shopping online and i love it! I love the convenience it offers to customers and i have not encountered any problem until my recent purchase at this site called Omega E-Supplements where i bought a tub pillow and a pack of dead sea salt. After a week, i got an email tellimg me that the items were shipped. After another week, i got the package with only the tub pillow so obviously the pack of salt was missing. I waited for few more days hoping they were shipped separately. Then i emailed customer service to inform them i did not get the salt but i only got this stupid auto response and nothing else. After a couple of days, i sent another email but still got no response. Since my emails were being ignored, i went to the site and contacted them there but still heard nothing from them.

I was so pissed at how this site treat their customers. The salt is only less than $3 but i still believe they should let me know why it never came. I sent another email and this time i told them how disgusted i am for their poor customer service and told them their customer service sucks big time. After few minutes, i got a reply for the first time telling me that they emailed me and informed me that the said salt is no longer available and that they are issuing me refund. I told them that if they really emailed me, which i never got even in my spam folder, then show me a proof that they sent that email or issued me refund because i never got a refund. Why would i waste my time emailing them if i did get an email from them.

The next day, they sent me an email saying "here is the email we sent you" and asked me to check my spam folder because they said it happens all the time. Great! The email they copied and sent me did not even came from them but it was my email. So i told them to check what they just sent me because they forgot to change or edit the sender of the email, bummer! And there was really no email in the first place, anyway! So i asked them to go ahead and just send me my refund to get done with it! They didn't insist in their next email and just told me to wait till Monday when they're back at their office so they can check the transaction number and date.

I waited Monday and no refund was issued. Tuesday.... still nothing. So Wednesday, i sent the transaction details to make their work easier but i am still waiting for that refund. Beware of this site! I checked the site and the salt that they claimed was no longer available is still posted there. This is the worst customer service i have ever encountered in my dealings online. Their customer service definitely sucks big time! Remember the site: - avoid buying from them!

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Alvin and the chipmunks...

We watched Alvin and the Chipmunks last night and I still enjoy this movie. I love their songs, i don't get tired even if i have to listen to it over and over again. I love all of their songs but my favorite is their christmas song but since it is not christmas yet, here is another one which i also like. Just click the video below to listen to it.

Friday, May 1, 2009

How good are you?

I'm sure you heard about that "shoe"cide incident that happened at a Press Conference hosted for President Bush in Iraq where one journalist threw his shoes to the president who was quick enough to avoid getting hit. I gave him credit for that! Now, if you were the journalist, you think you could hit Bush or would you have done a better job? Why not test your skills in this fun game? Click HERE and good luck!