Friday, August 28, 2009


Two old guys were chatting..... One said to the other: "My 85th birthday was yesterday. The wife gave me an SUV". Other guy responded: "Wow, that's amazing!!.....Imagine, an SUV!!.. What a great gift!"

First guy: "Yup !!.... Socks, Underwear and Viagra!"

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Did You Know This About Leather Dresses?

Do you know that when a woman wears a leather dress, a man's heart beats quicker,
his throat gets dry, he gets weak in the knees, and he begins to think irrationally??

Ever wonder why?

It's because she smells like a new golf bag!

Saturday, August 15, 2009


Hollywood Squares

These great questions and answers are from the days when ' Hollywood Squares' game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course..

Q.. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?
A. Paul Lynde (About fifteen minutes later): Loneliness! And the audience laughed for another 10 to 15 minutes.

Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A.. Rose Marie: No wait until morning.

Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency..
Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say 'I Love You'?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty..

Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.

Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.

Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.

Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.

Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.

Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.

Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him

Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.

Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A Paul Lynde: Point and laugh

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Enter To Win Your Dream Trip Through The Stouffer's Panini Contest

I love to eat and panini is one of my favorites. Speaking of panini, I have great news to panini lovers living in Canada. Now is your chance to realize a dream trip to one of these destinations: India, Greece, Italy and France, courtesy of Stouffer's Panini. How? Simply join the contest that Stouffers-panini is running with the launching of its 4 new varieties of panini - Bistro Meatballs & Peppers, Bistro Chicken Souvlaki, Lean Cuisine Grilled Vegetables & Goat Cheese, and Lean Cuisine Mango Chicken Tikka. The contest will give you the chance to win 3 grand prizes, namely: Choice of India, Greece, Italy and France destinations ($10, 000 Gift Card); 1 of 12 Secondary Prizes: Sony Digital Camcorders (Value of $500); and Daily Instant Prizes: Free Stouffer's Product coupons.

This is a great opportunity especially for those, like me, who enjoy the taste of Stouffer's panini. Adding more varieties to panini is already a bonus. What more with the added grand prizes at stake? So, if you are a resident of Canada, don't miss out on this great opportunity. Visit now for more information. You can register here and remember, the registration process allows you one free entry. There is one unique UPC code entry per day. So hurry and good luck!

I Love this commercial!

I love watching videos with kids or babies on it! They are absolutely the most effective endorsers of any kind of products. Watch this one commercial using these cute little toddlers skating. It may have utilized the wonders of computer technology but still, they are so much fun to watch.

Friday, August 7, 2009

The Fastest Internet Speed, Only From Charter!

Can you live without your computer? Can you survive a day without using your internet? Well, if you ask me, I will give you a big "No" for an answer. I cannot imagine how it is without the internet. So many things can be done through the internet but only if you have a fast internet connection. With a slow connection, you will be missing a lot. You will not enjoy watching movies or videos, listening to music, playing games and a lot more.

Charter Communications knows and understands the needs of their customers. The latest is the new Charter High-Speed® Internet Ultra60, which is expected to bring online experience into the highest level of satisfaction. With speeds up to 60Mbps, it is no doubt, one of the fastest and most powerful internet connections ever. With it, you can easily multi-task and enjoy the benefits that a fast internet speed could offer such as ultra fast streaming, downloading, gaming, telecommuting with mega files, not to mention, it is ultra safe too. Check out the
Ultra60 Information Page for more about it.

First of its Phatband speeds, Charter's Ultra60 Mbps service, is the fastest in the St. Louis market and one of the fastest in the US. This amazing service will be rolled out to other areas in the country within the year. Phatband is known for taking broadband to the next level which continues to prove that DSL cannot cope up with cable, as many of us would agree. So, for those within the St. Louis area, take advantage of this amazing internet connection service, only from Charter. For those outside the area, watch out for the new Charter High-Speed® Internet Ultra60! It is coming your way! Keep yourself updated with Charter's services through
Charter’s Twitter Feed.

Amazing kid! Amazing Grace!

As parents, it is so wonderful to see our kids learn to sing and dance and other amazing things at a very young age. Just like this kid who can sing so well with emotions at age 2! I really enjoy watching her sing. She's got videos of her singing prowess at You Tube and here are two of them:

Amazing Grace

The Lord's Prayer

Isn't she cute?

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Summer Denim For A Perfect Fit!

Since we are not allowed to wear denim jeans at work, I only get the chance to wear jeans during the weekend. Today, I had a hard time choosing which pair of jeans to wear because most of them don't fit me anymore. Gosh, I must have gained weight. I badly needed new pairs of denim. So I stopped by my favorite store before heading home to shop for a pair of denim but nothing seems to fit me right. If I try on a pair that fits my waistline, it would surely look so tight around my hips and if I pick one that fits my hips, it would look loose around my waist. So I ended up leaving the store with nothing.

While talking to my friend today, she recommended Armani Exchange denim jeans because she said she can vouch for its quality, fit, style and comfort. It may be a little pricey for my taste but she promised I will not regret having it. So, I got curious and check Armani Exchange online and I guess she's right. I think I will look good in any of these.

I love the casual yet sophisticated look that these Armani Exchange denim offer. The price is not really bad compared to other popular brands especially now that Armani Exchange has New Premium Denim starting at $98. Considering the satisfaction that you will enjoy in owning one, how can you beat that? Aside from that, Armani Exchange is also running a "text AX contest" SMS campaign which gives everyone a chance to win a pair of denim everyday for the month of July by simple texting the word "DENIM2" to ARMANI (276264. That simple!
Not only that, customers who purchase a full price pair of denim from Armani Exchange, between 7/7/09 - 7/19/09, whether in store or online, will get a gift card of $20 off their next purchase of $100 or more, which is valid from 7/30/09 through 8/15/09. Isn't that great? So, if you want quality, perfect fit and comfort in your next pair of denim, don't settle for anything less, go for Armani Exchange! To keep yourself updated with the latest on Armani Exchange, check out the AX Blog!

Saturday, August 1, 2009

New HR Policy

When I was still with my previous job, employees would always make fun of new policies, rules and orders issued at work. Well, I can't blame them as most of these issuances are only for the papers or only good for at least a week but after that, back to how they way thing were. So, nothing seemed credible anymore. It just make me laugh just thinking about it especially when I got this email about a new HR policy. Read on and enjoy it! Just want to lighten your day.

To All Employees

Dress Code
1. It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a pay raise.
2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
3. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a pay raise.

Sick Days
1. We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Holiday Days
1. Each employee will receive 52 personal days a year. They are called Sundays.

Compassionate Leave. This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.

Toilet Use
1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the cubicles.
2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle door will open, and your picture will be taken.
3. After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company notice board under the 'Chronic Offenders' category.
4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy.

Lunch Break
1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed in a trash bin nearest you.


This email is intended to stated recipients only! Because they value a little joke from the management and they are ignorant of the fact that this will not become reality in any possible way!

So why waste time reading?