Saturday, October 20, 2007

The Modern Inday

My friend Jane sent me this email about the modern Inday. Inday is the typical housemaid or babysitter rolled into one. Inday to me is our "angels" in the Philippine household. I used to depend a lot on Inday back in the Philippines because without her, I couldn't work and earn a living. Well, Inday has gone a long way. Our Inday has gone global. Let's take a look at the modern Inday. Thank you Jane for sharing this joke.
"I believe that my trained skills and expertise in management with the use of standard tools, and my discipline and experience will contribute significantly to the value of work that you want. My creativity, productivity and work efficiency and the high quality of outcomes I can offer will boost the work progress..."
- sagot ni Inday sa interview ng bago nyang amo! (Inday's reply when interviewed by her new employer)

"Potatoes, when consumed in their raw state are rapidly converted to glucose that raises insulin levels because of its simple sugar. When cooked in high temperatures like French fries, they produce large amount of free radicals in the body causing aging, clotting, inflammation, cancer, weight gain. One French fry is worse that one cigarette."
- sagot ni Inday sa amo nya kung bakit di sya nagluluto ng French fries. (Nutritionist din pala si Inday!) (Inday's reply when her employer asked her why she doesn't cook french fries. So Inday is also a nutritionist huh!)

"It's absurd! It was never a fact that he will inflict a fight. I can only imagine how you can handle schizophrenic kids on this educational institution. Revise your policies because it sucks!"
- Inday kasama si Junior sa principal's office. (Tulala ang principal) (Inday with Junior at the principal's office. The principal was shocked!)

"
Stop your raucous behavior. It is bound to result in property damages and if that happens there will be corresponding punishment inflicted upon you!"
- Inday, pinagbabawalan ang mga bata na wag malikot. (
Inday telling the kids to stop moving around).
"Nurture others with positive, ruthful words, not words that hurt. It doesn't cost anything to do so. But mean what you say, and say what you mean. If you cannot be generous financially, at least be generous with your words."
- yan ang sabi ni Inday nung di sya pinautang at pinagmumura pa ng amo nya. (
That's what Inday said to her employer when her employer denied her request to borrow money, and instead bad mouthed/cursed Inday)
"Dear Sir/Madam,
Attached herewith is a list of proposed acquisition in line with my proposal to upgrade your household facilities. I have already made initial survey of current market prices. Note however that prices could vary depending on the prevailing exchange rate and aggregate supply and demand which we also monitor on an hourly basis."
- si Inday, nagpapaalam para mamalengke! (Inday asking permission to go to the market)

"The consistency was fine. But you see, it seems that the increased amount of sodium chloride affected the taste drastically and those actions are irreversible. I do apologize."
- nageexplain si Inday kung bakit maalat ang ulam (aba, career much si Inday!) (
Inday explaining why the food she cooked was too salty)

"Listening to the nonsense talk about someone's life is a pathetic way of entertainment. It doesn't contribute to the good of the society. I hate character assassinators! "
- reklamo ni Inday ng natsismis sya ng kapitbahay! (di ko kinaya si Inday!) (
Inday about her being the subject of gossip by a neighbor)

Amo: Bakit nagkalat ang basura sa likod ng bahay?! (Employer asked why garbage is scattered all over the back of the house)
Inday: A change in weather patterns might have occurred, wreaking havoc to the surroundings. The way the debris are scattered indicates that the gust of wind was going northeast causing damage to the path it was heading for.
Amo: (nosebleed!) (Employer nosebled!)

Siguro naman nabasa nyo na ang resignation letter ni Inday. May bago nang career ngayon si Inday. Isa na syang... Call Center Agent! (I guess you already read Inday's resignation letter as she has changed career. Inday is now ... a Call Center Agent!)

3 comments:

""rarejonRez"" said...

corek jud! ang mga inday karon layo na ug nanga-abtan. usahay, malupigan pa gani ang mga amo! how would u like me to send u email messages like these? just let me know...

RedLan said...

sikat na sikat si inday na yan ha. hehehe

Tess said...

cel: i welcome emails and thanks for coming! Looking forward to it!
Red: mas sikat pa sa amo, lol!