This blog contains jokes, funny videos, photos, stories and anecdotes and anything entertaining. Feel at home and have fun!
Monday, December 29, 2008
Hectic schedule...
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
A week before christmas....
Friday, December 5, 2008
Winter Diary
It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses Print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!
December 9 - We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a lovelier place in the Whole World? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had. Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life.
December 12 - The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry; we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor.
December 14 - Snow lovely snow! 8" last night. The temperature dropped to -20F. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way.
December 15 - 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.
December 16 - Ice storm this morning. Fell on my butt on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.
December 17 - Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. God I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.
December 20 - Electricity's back on, but had another 14" of the damn stuff last night. More shoveling. Took all day. Damn snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.
December 22 - Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white crap fell today, and it's so cold it probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to poop. By the time I got undressed, pooped and dressed again, I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter; but he says he's too busy. I think the jerk is lying.
December 23 - Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she nuts!!! Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did but I think she's lying.
December 24 - 6". Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son of a bitch who drives that snowplow I'll drag him through the snow by his balls and beat him to death with my broken shovel. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was too busy watching for the damn snowplow.
December 25 - Merry Christmas! 20 more inches of the damn slop tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's a fricking idiot. If I have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to stuff her into the microwave.
December 26 - Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.
December 27 - Temperature dropped to -30F and the pipes froze, plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me 1,400 to replace all my pipes.
December 28 - Warmed up to above -20F. Still snowed in. THE BITCH is driving me crazy!!!
December 29 - 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?December 30 - Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver. He is now suing me for a million dollars not only the beating I gave him but also for trying to shove the broken snow shovel up his ass. The wife went home to her mother. 9" predicted.
December 31 - I set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.
January 8 - Feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Grab This Amazing Nikon BDC Slam Hunter's Package Before It's Too Late!
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Dancing with the stars....
Friday, November 21, 2008
Where To Find Top Of The Line Massage And Wellness Products
Friday, November 14, 2008
What's up?
Friday, November 7, 2008
My Husband's Favorite Pants
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Can you beat this?
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Black Friday Online: Smartest Way To Shop On Black Friday
I’m sure you would not mind shopping on Black Friday if you do it online. Shopping at Black Friday Online is the most convenient and smartest way to shop because you will have the chance to take advantage of the great deals most major stores offer because you can request to get email alerts when ads are available. That way, you can plan your shopping early and don’t have to wait for Black Friday. I’m glad we decided to hold off buying that expensive stuff otherwise I would not have found out about Black Friday online which will really save me a lot of money, time and effort. This is indeed a great idea for a smart shopping spree. If you want to save money for your holiday shopping, don’t miss Black Friday online. Sign up now for email alerts and get access to hundreds of ad scans from your favorite online stores. I have already made my “wish list” for home improvement from Lowe's specials. It’s a wonderful idea to plan your holiday shopping early. With Black Friday Online, shopping for the holidays has never been so easy!
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Obama and McCain: Who is the better dancer?
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Charter Communications Is Giving Away One Xbox 360® Per Day Until December 15th!
One of those we highly consider right now is getting one of the Charter services online. I think they are awesome. Charter Communications offers the best services to their customers who want to maximize full use of their telephone and internet connection. One great thing with using Charter Communication services is their continuous commitment to please their customers. For instance is the Charter Communications Xbox Sweepstakes that is open to everyone who purchase one of their services or even just to register with them. If you live within an area where Charter services are available, this is your chance to win one of 45 Xbox 360 ® Consoles, that Charter is giving away one per day until December 15th, 2008. Consider yourself as a potential owner of this great prize that includes: XBox 360® Pro Console, XBox LIVE Headset, Wireless Controller, Component HD AV Cable, and a 20Gb Detachable Hard Drive. Owning this neat game is one of my dreams, who don’t? If you are interested, then take advantage of this rare opportunity. Check out the sweepstakes rules and take you chances. You will never win if you don’t!
Saturday, October 25, 2008
A Personalized Print Calendar Is A Great Gift For The Holidays
I have been one of those happy customers who are smart enough to have used some of the wonderful products of VistaPrint. I have purchased my personalized business cards and postcards from them and I can vouch for the high quality of their printing services and customer service. VistaPrint has a lot of neat products and services and I am sure you can find something that you will surely need from there. The best thing about VistaPrint is: you can make your own design based on your personal preferences or pick from their wide selection of designs, and have them print it for you. Whenever you run out of copies, you can easily reorder online. It is a very convenient and less stressful way to shop, isn’t it? That is where I am heading to right now. I’m gonna go pick a design for my custom Print Calendar which I would be happy to use as my giveaway to friends and relatives this coming holiday season. If you are looking for great personalized gift ideas, VistaPrint is an excellent choice!
Jennifer Hudson's mom and brother murdered!
Have you heard about the shocking news about the murder of singer and actress Jennifer Hudson's mom and brother in their house in Chicago Friday night? My friend Roselle told me about the tragic news when i was chatting with her few minutes ago. Jennifer Hudson has become popular as one of the top contestants in the previous year's American Idol (forgot which season that was). I saw her at the Dream Girls movie and i believe she has another movie coming up. I read that the cause of the murder was domestic violence where Hudson's brother-in-law was involved. Hudson's 7 year-old nephew is also missing. I hope Hudson will cope up with the great loss easily.
Monday, October 20, 2008
Cydcor Helps Communities Grow
Cydcor does not only strive to make profits. It has also been active in providing philanthropic services to help other people especially members of its teams grow and be successful as well. In fact, it has recently donated $1,000 to Andinet International School in Ethiopia, where a former Cydcor receptionist is now working as a teacher. In addition to this donation, team members also contributed some $600 in additional funds and sent boxes of school supplies for students and teachers to use. Please read the press release on Cydcor Supports Former Team Member Through Donation below to know more about this recent great philanthropic deed by Cydcor which other companies should emulate.
Press Release:
Cydcor Supports Former Team Member Through Donation
Leading global provider of outsourced, face-to-face sales teams
and its team members provide funds and school supplies
WESTLAKE VILLAGE, Calif. (October 3, 2008) – Cydcor, the leading provider of outsourced, face-to-face sales teams, and its team members recently made a donation to the Andinet International School in Ethiopia, in addition to packing and sending supplies for the school’s children and teachers.
In support a former Cydcor receptionist who moved to Ethiopia in August to teach English and art to impoverished children at Andinet, Cydcor donated $1,000 to the school and Cydcor team members individually contributed nearly $600 in additional funds.
“We look for opportunities to support our team members’ prosperity internally as well as externally while they pursue other goals and passions,” said Gary Polson, chief executive officer of Cydcor. “At Cydcor, we try to create a philanthropic environment where our team members can support each other, and we all wanted to help her make a difference.”
Cydcor and its team members were also able to fill four boxes of binders, paper, padfolios, pens and pencils to be personally delivered to the school in Ethiopia. The money will be used to purchase student school and arts supplies, which are often limited or non-existent.
“The Andinet International School expresses heartfelt gratitude for the generous contribution and personal delivery from Cydcor,” said Nefertiti Makeda, director of Andinet International School. “Our school is growing and we are always in need of educational materials.”
Saturday, October 18, 2008
How Well Do You Maintain Your Body?
If you are conscious about your health and your life as a whole, the RealAge Test should be your first step to take. The test will assess everything that concern your health depending on how you manage it, thus, determines how old you feel against how old you really are. My result showed that I feel three years older than my real age is. So, if I am 47 years old now, my body actually feels 50. Then I started to check each area where I am doing wrong with my body and I admit there is quite a bit that needs improvement. One thing I learned is the importance of dental hygiene which I have taken for granted. Dental hygiene is supposed to strengthen our immune system which helps our body fight deadly diseases. I also need to exercise more and have to change a lot in my lifestyle.
The RealAge Test will give you suggestions on how to improve your overall health status based on your test results. Not only that, it will also educate you on areas you have neglected or areas that need attention. I actually learned a lot from it. It made me realize that I have not really taken cared of myself which is absolutely wrong if I want to live longer. And who does not want to live longer with a happy and healthy life? If you do, then give it a try. I challenge you to Take the RealAge Test! It's free! Do it now before it is too late.
I slept in....
Monday, October 13, 2008
Most Convenient Way To Shop Online
A month ago, I was busy looking for the best gift for our first grandchild and I guess I made the right decision when I chose a nice quality Graco® SnugRide® Lotus™ Infant Car Seat for her. As usual, I got it online where I usually do my shopping. Online shopping has always been a wonderful experience for me especially through ShopWiki.com because I don’t have to go hopping from one store to another. They are all there at ShopWiki.com. You can find any item that you are looking for, in any store, depending on the brand and specification you want. I have been enjoying all the discounts and deals that I have found online courtesy of course of ShopWiki.com.
Moms like me, should learn to be smart buyers especially at this time when life is real hard. ShopWiki.com is one destination online where buyers enjoy wider choices of stores, brands and items plus more savings not only in money but also in time. What a convenient way to shop, isn’t it? So to avoid a stressful shopping especially for the coming holidays, ShopWiki.com is the best place to be!
Happy Columbus Day!
Wanna join me?
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Best Golf Courses In Las Vegas
Bali Hai Golf Club appeals to me most, not only of its proximity to the Las Vegas Strip but also of the tropical, exotic view of lush, green scenery, decorated with tropical plants and flowers, trees, water features and the Bali Hai Golf Shop, one of the 100 Best Golf shops in America. Watch the Bali Hai video to see what I am talking about. I’m sure you will feel in love with the place. Also check on the other golf courses so you can decide which one matches your preferences. But I tell you, each of Walter’s Golf Courses offers a total and memorable experience for golfers. So when you are looking for the best golfing experience in
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Free Reader's Digest Widgets For Your Websites
As you can see, I have displayed right here in my blog the Daily Laughs widget so I and my visitors can have access to the RD Laughs Main for new jokes, cartoons, and funny videos, without leaving my blog. I always look forward to the Stand-up Videos and the Funny Cartoons everyday. As I mentioned above, you can download any or all of the available widgets and toolbars for free. I’m sure adding widgets to your sites will increase the number of visitors in your site daily because they will always look forward to the fun waiting for them in your site. If you like Reader’s Digest, either by reading or visiting the site, you should take advantage of these free RD widgets and toolbar.
not funny anymore ....
Would You Like To Win A 2009 Civic Hybrid?
We got two winners tonight...
Saturday, October 4, 2008
I Love To Shop At Heavenly Couture!
Too sleepy...
Friday, October 3, 2008
Where To Buy Low- Cost But High Quality Power Steering Parts
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
I need your votes, please!
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Nothing Beats The Free People Search Engine At LookupWho.com
Friday, September 26, 2008
Ethocyn For A Youthful Skin
Ellen Page has a fan in me...
Friday, September 19, 2008
Up to 30% Off On High Quality Wholesale Beads
Wish me luck...
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Looking For Great Mexican Cooking?
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Where To Get The Best Superchargers For Your Car
Friday, September 5, 2008
The Perfect Place For A Nice Retreat
I love Fridays but.....
Friday, August 29, 2008
Treatment to 70 Diseases Can Be Found In Cord Blood
Short break from blogging....
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Network Solutions: Providing The Best Web Design Service
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Excuse Me?
Guys that are so forward turn me off. Like for instance, you just met this guy and on your first date, he would ask “can I take you to my home?” Excuse Me? Maybe, I am just too conservative but I personally don’t feel comfortable about this question. It is obviously flirting as I see it but it doesn’t work on me. Sorry to say, you won’t achieve a Victory Hair that way. There is nothing wrong with flirting but we have to use it depending on whom to use it with. You got to be sensitive to your partner’s feelings or personality. Do you know how to flirt? If you wanna test yourself, Extreme Style by VO5 is running the Ultimate Flirting Championship game where participants would show off their flirting skills by how they answer questions asked by the judge. Whoever wins, as picked by the judge, wins the game. It is actually a fun ad exciting game and I really enjoyed it. Everyone is welcome to join. You will enjoy it, I tell you!
Movie marathon
Thursday, August 21, 2008
When The Bills Don't Stop Coming
Its Thursday!
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Watch I.O.U.S.A. on August 21st
Four worms and a lesson...
A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon.
Four worms were placed into four separate jars.
The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.
The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.
At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results:
The first worm in alcohol - Dead.
The second worm in cigarette smoke - Dead Third worm in chocolate syrup - Dead Fourth worm in good clean soil - Alive.
So the Minister asked the congregation - What can you learn from this demonstration?
Maxine was sitting in the back, quickly raised her hand and said, 'As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won't have worms!' That pretty much ended the service --
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Banzai: The Hottest Adult Game In Town
Trouble
his physical exam.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back
a semen sample tomorrow."
The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave
him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.
The doctor asked what happened.
The man explained, "Well, doc, it's like this--first I tried with my right
hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing.
"Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with
her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth
in, then with her teeth out, still nothing.
"We even called up Arlene, the lady next door and she tried too, first with
both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her
knees, but still nothing."
The doctor was shocked, "You asked your neighbor?"
The old man replied, "Yep, None of us could get the jar open.
This is My "Look", What's Yours?
Each of us has our own way of getting attention. Body language or non-verbal language I believe is more effective than verbal language. When it comes to flirting which is not bad at all, girls usually sway their hips or sway their hair or pout their lips especially with guys around just to get their interest. Men have their own way too. Even I would get attracted with women with long, black, shiny hair especially when they sway it. How much more with the opposite sex?
Speaking of flirting, Extreme Style by VO5 welcomes everybody to try this exciting game called Ultimate Flirting Championship. The Ultimate Flirting Championship is a fun game where you play with other members showing off your best shot in flirting. I just tried it and I had so much fun. I know you would enjoy this too! If you want to try this fun game and win a Victory Hair, just click the widget below and start playing. If you have a site or blog, feel free to grab this widget and place it there. Now, good luck and enjoy the game. You can also invite your friends to join you there. Remember, the more the merrier!
Husband won!
I Found My Best Buddy In My Cabin Cuddler
Am I dreaming?
Thursday, August 14, 2008
$8 Complete Prescription Eyeglasses + Case
Friday, August 8, 2008
Caring Is Sharing: C'elle's Stem Cell Research Innovation
Monday, August 4, 2008
Do You Know What Your Customers Say About Your Business?
Thursday, July 31, 2008
How To Stay Cool On Summer
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Say Goodbye To Your Skin Problems
The Laws of Life
Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.
Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
Law of Probability:
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of the Telephone:
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.
Law of the Alibi:
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
Variation Law:
If you change lines (or traffic lanes) the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
Law of the Bath:
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
Law of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
Law of the Result:
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
Law of Biomechanics:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
Law of the Theater:
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
Law of Coffee:
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
Murphy's Law of Lockers:
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
Law of Rugs/Carpets:
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.
Law of Location:
No matter where you go, there you are.
Law of Logical Argument:
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
Brown's Law:
If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
Oliver's Law:
A closed mouth gathers no feet .
Wilson's Law :
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
Doctors' Law:
If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.
Now, tell me I am wrong!
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Online Car Loans: The Best Way To Go
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Why Pay For An Expensive Car Insurance?
Miss USA tripped in Miss Universe Pageant
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Zenni Optical Sells Inexpensive Yet Best Quality Stylish Frames
Sunday, July 6, 2008
Here's for a good laugh!
Whenever people ask me how old I am, i never lie about it. Aging is inevitable, we all come to it. They say women hate to talk about aging, I don't! I can even joke about it, you know. I guess we just have to try our best to age gracefully but what the hell is that? Don't ask me, lol! And if you know the answer, then please tell me. Well, talking about aging, here is something for a good laugh!
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Nothing Beats A Chevrolet!
Monday, June 23, 2008
What kids say about the ocean....
1) - This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles.(Kelly, age 6)
2) - Oysters' balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age 6)
3) - If you are surrounded by ocean you are an Island . If you
don't have ocean all round you, you are incontinent. ( Wayne , age 7)
4) - Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily
Richardson. She's not my friend any more. (Kylie, age 6)
5) - A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head. (Billy, age 8)
6) - My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men and a woman and
pots and comes back with crabs.(Millie, age 6)
7) - When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to
cross the ocean. Sometimes when the wind didn't blow the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would have been better
off eating beans. (William, age 7)
8) - Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They are
beautiful and I like their shiny tails, but how on earth do mermaids get
pregnant? Like, really? (Helen, age 6)
9) - I'm not going to write about the ocean. My baby brother is
always crying, my Dad keeps yelling at my Mom, and my big sister has
just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy, age 6)
10) - Some fish are dangerous.. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels
can give you a shock. They have to live
in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug
themselves into chargers. (Christopher, age 7)
11) - When you go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold, and it
makes my willy small. (Kevin, age 6)
12) - Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Divers
can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky, age 8)
13) - On vacation my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she
was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water fired
right up her big fat ass. (Julie, age 7)
14)-The ocean is made up of water and fish. Why the fish don't
drown I don't know. (Bobby, age 6)
15)-My dad was a sailor on the ocean. He knows all about the ocean.
What he doesn't know is why he quit being a sailor and married my
mom. (James, age 7)